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Freedom Is

11/14/2016

4 Comments

 
Freedom is not . . .
The same fetid breath and unwashed bodies ambling into line three times a day
The acrid stench of toilet paper burned to heat water for coffee
Backed up sewage and sour mop overpowering the smell of mystery meat
The odor of unflushed commodes first thing in the morning
Prayer oil mixed with water as a pretend air freshener that does nothing of the sort
Freedom is brine on the wind mingled with pine and oleander.
 
Freedom is not . . .
Bitter
Nauseating
Sour or rotten
Freedom is your favorite food, cooked to perfection, just like mom used to make
 
Freedom is not . . .
Hot, humid air making sleep impossible
Cold steel locked around the wrists and ankles
An empty stomach and dry throat
A beating by your “caretakers”
Isolation
Hatred
Fear or disgust
Freedom is the intimate touch of a woman.
 
Freedom is not . . .
A cell door slamming shut
An intercom blaring announcements everyday
The word “inmate” used as a pejorative
Mindless complaints, arguments, and one-sided conversations to nowhere
A court’s assurance of “harmless errors”
A lawyer’s meaningless platitude that at least a life sentence is a life
Freedom is silence.
 
Freedom is not . . .
Observing an act of injustice and doing nothing about it
Seeing time ravage your loved ones as you spend your life in prison
Witnessing the outside world from an arrow slit window
Watching your friends get escorted to death watch
Being blind to your own failings while pointing at your neighbor’s
Freedom is a starry sky pierced by a mountaintop.
 
Freedom is not . . .
Willful ignorance
Intolerance
Hypocrisy
Bigotry
Or an excuse to do evil
Freedom is choosing to live the second time as you should have lived the first.

4 Comments
Kyle
11/15/2016 04:32:19 am

Hey Lyle.....there's something about reading this before dawn. Lots of stomach-churning detail in the first stanza. You pulled me right into the start of your day. And then into the thoughts that run through your mind as you think, dispiritedly, through the events that draw the line between freedom and not-freedom. It seems exhausting---had to get this word in because that's the overall feeling I get of the endless litany of thoughts that come up when you allow yourself to go there. And then there's the final line. Despite the hopelessness and frustration that you may have felt when you wrote it, and depending on your definition of "second time", it seems to me that you are Lyle, you are.

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Cheryl
11/21/2016 02:03:52 pm

Beautiful Lyle.
I hope my comment gets published. I'm still waiting for the last one to show up. I'll be more than happy to print them out and mail them to you.

I told you before that I'm not a huge fan of Poetry, but this one - this one I like. This one I understand. This one I felt.

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Cheryl
11/21/2016 02:04:34 pm

Beautiful Lyle.
I hope my comment gets published. I'm still waiting for the last one to show up. I'll be more than happy to print them out and mail them to you.

I told you before that I'm not a huge fan of Poetry, but this one - this one I like. This one I understand. This one I felt.

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Daniel Oschwald
11/22/2016 07:47:36 am

Lyle,

It has taken me far to long to respond to your beautiful letter from June. Reading your blog and your writings, I now understand how beautifully you have received and now share your gifts. Insights and understanding few other than one like you could know or share so eloquently. As Thanksgiving approaches, as Christmas approaches, I pray you continue to find in the solitude, incarceration the voice of God who clearly has spoken to your heart. Please know I will be praying for you in particular during this Advent Season. God Bless you, God Keep you, God be with you always! Fr. Daniel O

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    Author

    In the time he has been incarcerated, Lyle May has earned an Associates in Arts degree with a social science emphasis through Ohio University; paralegal certification through the Center for Legal Studies; and is currently working on his bachelor’s degree. He has published two articles in The Wing, an international newsletter for death penalty opponents, and is hard at work writing a second memoir detailing his experiences on death row. When he is not writing Lyle enjoys sci-fi and fantasy novels, calisthenics, and dreams of freedom.

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    Lyle welcomes comments to his blog.  However, because Lyle's case is still pending, he will not be able to respond to any questions or comments that you may have.

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